November

I don't even have time to get lost in my thoughts anymore.

5

most alone time I've had in awhile but I can't relax the way I'd like to.

me time> alone time

CRAY

Last night was amazing.

Watch The Throne Tour. Stop #3. DC @ the Verizon Center

Kanye is my favorite rapper and almost favorite artist ever. Such a high energy, extra live show. I can definitely say I enjoyed all the non-Watch The Throne songs more except maybe for Niggas in Paris, which they did 3 times.

Ball so hard...

new new

be careful what you wish for.

only 21

I'm right where I'm supposed to be. 21. In my 4th and last year of college. Working hard at school, figuring out my future, and making money when I can. Things will change as time passes as they should. One day, I'll be 31, in my future, out of school, with a career and worrying about what 31 yr olds worry about. It's only a matter of time. Why I sit and wish I was older at times, I don't know because I'll get there eventually. Can't really rush time. So what if everyone else is old and I feel like I'm getting left behind. My time hasn't come yet.

"Pump pump pump pump your brakes and slow down." -a Juke Joint artist '08

inequalities

this phone call right now <<<<< the peace i had before i answered the call

I care.

Thought that things like this get better with time but I still....

Why is that?

21

but my birthday was great though

^_^

:-/

when shit it sweet, it's divine

otherwise...

and i guess i'm supposed to feel some kinda good that you arranged something for me just like you would have if we were still but we're not yet you are and i should be happy, right? but no

not that simple

Verano...

Dear Summer,

I love you. Just 1 more month left with you and I can surely say that it's been fun thus far and I look forward to having the most fun in this month of August. My favorite month with one of my favorite holidays is only a day away. Crazy how time flies so please don't speed up like you usually do in August. I could use a bit more of you.

-Summer Baby

Turning 21

No one's ever in the same place at the same time but I'm going to make it almost happen for my birthday. My gift to me.

:-(

I just want to piece it all together with super glue so that it stays that way forever.

One of those evenings.

Sunshine State

my family is Boss. Governor Mimiko of Ondo State, Nigeria.
feeling randomly proud.

week 2

So, It's been quite some time and things are a bit different than they were last time we spoke. I have no idea what my last blog was about to be honest (shows what I get for being so ambiguous at times) but it was obviously something negative that I'd probably be better off not remembering to be completely honest but I digress...

Summer 2011 is in full swing. I'm in Baltimore, a city which I have not come to love just yet. Don't know what you got till its gone certainly applies to DC..my real "city". Not that I was immersed in the city while I was there but I would much rather be stuck in that city for 8 weeks than in this one. Either way, still optimistic. If it wasn't so hot and I had my iPod, I would start exploring...just maybe.

The internship part is wonderful thus far. So much going on here, so much opportunity, interesting research, great people. I'm pretty sure I made the right choice because just being at the Hopkins campus is enriching. I like my mentor. He's got me involved in a couple things all of importance. I'll be out in the field soon too and the research projects I've been exposed to are really interesting. Sexual and reproductive health!! Adolescents!! Prevention!! Promotion! The fun stuff. On the first day, they told us to "Be A Sponge" and that's exactly what I plan to do.

So have fun, learn, make connections and study for the GRE are all on my list of things to do. Yes, the GRE. I honestly don't want to be stressed about it because I don't believe in work related stress over the summer months. I truly believe in giving yourself a break even when you can't completely afford one. It's necessary for your sanity. Here's the plan: get the book, make some study schedule, take some practice tests, try my very best, and hope it's enough. If not, I'll just try again.
Dust myself off and try again. Try again. Try again. Failure is not a true end point. I think I thanked God this morning for the ability to make mistakes and learn from them. #itsthelittlethings!!!!

Next Up: The Title (as told by Me)

...not AGAIN

flaws & all

shoutout to everyone who sees whatever it is they see in me that makes them keep me around.

hair!

so as the rest of the world goes natural, my relaxed hair is doing beautifully. better than it's ever been in awhile and i'm loving it.
healthy hair = good hair

y'all don't know how much i HATE natural nazis and their elitist attitudes acting like they're better people on the inside for having natural hair. gurl bye

plea

desensitize me cap'n
not crunchitize. but desensitize.
please cap'n.

territorial

i don't like when our worlds collide. not. one. bit.

the chase

her: u still talk to (insert name here)?
me: shiiiiiiit I've been trying to.

I don't like having to chase people. I don't like busy people. It just turns me off. I have no problem showing interest but how can I do that if you never even time to let me show you? Hmph. It is kind of a turn on to see that you're about your stuff but live a little.

sad reality

he don't care about you. he don't want you. he don't like you. he's just not that into you. point. blank. period.
fell asleep on that movie by the way.
anywho

*reread until it sinks in*

buy-buy

New: dress, skirt, skinny jeans, pink shirt for like $50. that's a bargain to me considering I'm not a thrifter.I want some more dresses, stripes,and florals...oh and sunglasses so I can achieve these not-so-defined looks I dream about. And more make-ups! lol. I bought a lip stain and an ugly lip gloss that needs returning. Oh and a pretty nail polish. Oh and summery wedges I've been eyeing at DSW. Look good. Feel good.

One of my many mantras.

god-#WINNING

I can smile knowing that I have family members who care about me. Yes, even the meddling ones.

question: How's your boyfriend?
answer: i don't have one.
a million and one questions and pieces of advice ensue.


oh and all this talk about the world ending or the rapture or whatever is supposed to happening tomorrow according to some guy? nope, not having it. the fact that people are even entertaining it disturbs me. i'll admit i had my doubts when the millennium hit but nothing happened and looking back, all i can do is laugh. twitter told me, sorry I haven't read my Bible, but anyway, apparently no one knows the time. so let's just live like we used to circa 1998 with no fears. cool? cool

AIM-ing

the mind games i used to play with these young boys....man oh man.
my teenagehood was fun. #nowreading old AIM conversations.

Yesterday

What do black grown folk do? Not married folk but the 20 and 30 somethings with no obligations but balancing work and passion. Yesterday, I got a glimpse while at a little open mic spot with a chill food and drink menu and a nice live band and talented artsy fartsy people. It was cute. I zoned out for a few moments to picture myself out of college, of age, and being a regular there sometime in my future. But before I get there, I need to get the fun out of my system.

closing

As the year nears its end, I figured I needed to blog an official sendoff. So here's to you Junior year. Here's to the best of times and the worst of times. Here's to the first day of the semester. Here's to the last day of the semester. Here's to the good days and better days in between. Here's to single life (-_-). Here's to doing what I want and not what I should. Here's to getting that internship. Here's to getting into Courtyards. Here's to the first 4.0 during a spring semester (crosses fingers). Here's to straight shots and no chasers those few random times. Here's to getting the maximum sleep. Here's to CHOICES. Here's to CURB. Here's to being strong. *thinks of things that are relevant to fall semester* ....*thinks of better things to cheers to*.... *draws blank*.

Here's to making Fall 2011 more memorable.

2 words

white people

*face palm*

bracing myself for this summer.

aging

Now that I'm almost a senior in college, a guy 1 year older than me is likely to be a college graduate. I'm swimming with the big fish now. Hello there you young eligible bachelors. Lol. I'm growing but I surely don't feel old. When will it settle in with this youthful face? Haha.

Neverrrrrrrrr

journeying [to the past]

aint what i heard you said you loved me in december
it aint what i heard you said you loved me in
december i remember.
-Olivia.December

It turns out freedom ain't nothin but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I go back to December, turn around and make it alright
I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time, all the time
-Taylor Swift. Back to December

something special about december, ey? when things were essentially everything they should've been.



soundtrack to nostalgia and a hopeful future. they go hand in hand.

2 ot 11

2011 has been so good to me. excuse me if I already said this.
and we're not even half way through.
here's to continuing the trend.
*cheers*

summer 2011. senior year. leggo.

humbling

randomly thinking about working in Compassion Atlanta. City of Refuge's gigantic food pantry where volunteers come in and fill boxes of food that are essentially supposed to feed families of 4 for 1 month. I remember taking special care of each of my boxes. Thinking of the meals they could create out of the things I tossed in there. Thinking of what I would want to eat if I was poor and had to survive of these food boxes. Getting frustrated towards the end when the supply of food we had out on the table became less and less and I wasn't able to make boxes that stood up to my standards. It's good to put yourself in someone else's shoes every now and again...preferably someone who only gets 2 new pairs of shoes a year from other people's donations. Doing ASB Atlanta over a year ago was life changing and every now and again, my mind goes back there and to all the people I met and things I witnessed and stuff we did. It keeps me grounded.



Just visited the website. I remember eating lunch in Eden's Village that one day and meeting the beautiful baby in that picture right there. We held her and played with her and she smiled and laughed as her mother looked on. She's too young to know her situation and hopefully will never really have to. Here's to hoping.

word

But I won't go,
I can't do it on my own,
If this ain't love, then what is?
I'm willing to take the risk,
I won't go,
I can't do it on my own,
If this ain't love, then what is?
I'm willing to take the risk

confirming

now that's i've checked myself back in to reality
onto the rest...


I've fared quite well in this life so far but I can never get the people right. If there's one thing I feel is ALWAYS lacking, it's having certain people in certain places to play certain roles at certain times for certain reasons. I've never quite got it right.

what's really good?

maybe i'm just meant to be my own friend. enjoy time alone. do things on my own. seek independence. etcetera. or maybe not.

just speculating.

updating

#oomf told me I was sicin Mother's Day and that there was no way it could be this Sunday. I started to believe them too...

don't you hate that.

updates.
gonna have to turn down another internship.
finally got the apartment i wanted.
15 days of school left.
getting back on this 3 meals a day thing.
fixed my tv.
not. too. shabby.

i think i'm happy now.
time to set more goals. accomplish new things.
got most of what i want. on to the next.

bittersweet

---ing

the word of man means nothing to me.
and if your word means nothing, I'll let you know.
people been saying one thing and doing the next a lot lately.
friends. associates. everyone.
doesn't make them fake. just not honest with themselves.

hurting

my heart hurts for humanity and all of the inevitable things in life that we cannot control.

counting down

29 days until official start of Summer Break?!
Geez..why did I even count?
Back to work...

4 more major assignments. 5 more exams.
fun. Fun. FUN.

jamming

I still believe in man.
A wise one asked me why.
Cause I just don't believe we're wicked
I know that we sin but I do believe we try.



one time for believing in the inherent goodness of all people
Happy Friday.

why do I write?

If someone was to ask what my blog was about, I'd say me and my thoughts.
Whether you find that appealing or not is up to you. I wrote for readership back when Xanga was cool and enjoyed it even more when I could just write for myself. Fast forward 7 years later and I'm on blogspot. I write to release and keep a personal record of my life.

You know what you did last summer? I know what I did on April 8, 2005!

#POW

suceeding

We were joking here about how come you couldn't get a 4.0. I just want to let you know that your grades did not go unnoticed. We like hard workers around here. - UMich Phone Interviewer

I love a lil recognition every now and again. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. I sent in 4 applications for summer programs. Offers and interviews have been rolling in ever since. Looking like a summer in Baltimore. Not quite Miami

#1 Public Health School...√
#1 School for Healthcare Management...√
Leading US Agency for Public Health...√

I've accomplished so much already..why limit myself anymore? .
I work too hard to be ballin on a budget (love that line!).
go girl. go girl. go girl. ambition.

escaping

Is this life? Nope, can't be.
*goes back to fantasy land*

parenting

I've been hearing a lot about the self-proclaimed Tiger Mom and today, I finally decided to see what it was all about and take a look back at the Wall Street Journal article that started it all.

'Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior'.

"There are three big differences between the Chinese and Western parental mind-sets. Western parents are concerned about their children's psyches. Chinese parents aren't. Second, Chinese parents believe that their kids owe them everything. Third, Chinese parents believe that they know what is best for their children and therefore override all of their children's own desires and preferences."

She's just another foreign parent who pushes her kids so that they are more likely to succeed in their futures. Like my mother. Crazy to see half the world up in arms about this. So what her children had to play piano or violin, couldn't participate in school plays, couldn't bring home anything less than an A, couldn't go to sleepovers, and couldn't complain about any of the rules?
Any foreign parented child would probably read this and just smile. Yes it sucked coming up in it but the majority of us are doing well because of it.

Sincerely,
a 4.0 student

checking in

hey baby,
I was thinking of you.

quote of the week

I do what I want, not what I should.- mo.Reni.K.B

bootlegging

Spring and Fall may be nice but there's too much gray area.
It's supposed to be nice and sunny. Not cold and dark and wet.
In summer, there is hot and hotter.
I miss that.

short skirts. shorter sleeves.
blazers. scarves.
boots and leggings.
faking it till I make it.

researching

'dealing with the loss of the sense of entitlement that comes with being in a relationship post-said- relationship'. I Googled to see what the rest of the world had to say about entitlement in this regard and came across an article on PubMed. Sadly, I can only get my hands on the abstract.

Let me just pause to note how my eyes lit up at the sight of a peer-reviewed journal article that related to my personal quest for knowledge outside of the the academic world. Is this life? Why, yes it is. This is what I'm paying for...to be made a product of higher education. To get excited when I find the right journal article with just the information I need. It's not so much what you learn while you're here but the person you become after those 4,5,6, odd years.

rollin

huh? motherfucker I'm rollin
with some light skin boys and a Kelly Rowland.

Spring Break '11

=)

there are so many different types of people in this world.
no 2 people are exactly alike.
and there are over 6 billion of us.
no one has the exact same struggle.
the exact same dreams.
or knows the exact same things.
such is the beauty of it all.

everybody's different.

[on] Tweeting

Truthfully: I gave up Twitter to help restore my sanity. Since Freshman year. It's had its time. Zuckerburg still created a more useful tool. Twitter's just entertainment.

how many days till Easter?

breaking

It's a pretty day. Let's go outside and enjoy it.
Springy 60s today. Summery mid-70s tomorrow. 50s and rain to follow.
Cherish the day.

In bed. TV. iTunes. phone. thoughts.
Typical evening even though it feels a little weirder now that the sun is out a little longer.
Welp...

On a lighter note, SPRING BREAK.

reflecting

how are you today?
I'm better.

A very good friend noted that he hadn't seen me since last semester. That was 2010 Reni and he said he needs to see the new me. No, I didn't make some resolution to be brand new in 2011 but things have really changed since December 31st, 2010. My problems aren't the same. I look a little different. I have cried more tears. My smiles are for different reasons. The important figures in my life have since changed. I have accomplished a little more. Not all of it by choice either, unfortunately. Yes, taking control of your life and putting yourself through the necessary processes to be where you want to be is empowering and all well and great. However, when there are things in your life you don't have complete control of, things can get a little shaky for you. This is where I stand. Trying to stop beating myself up over something I had very little control over. Trying to get past the negatives and focus on every single positive of the situation. Luckily, time passing is inevitable and even if I'm struggling to come to terms with it all, with every passing day, it's getting a little bit easier. Am I completely fine? No, but I'm better.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference. Amen

experimenting

New Music.

dreaming

I seriously do reside in fantasy land. I'm literally scrolling through my iTunes trying to find the perfect song for a certain someone. And I'm sitting here like I need to meet some more people, build some more relationships, and live out these little [love] stories these artists sing about. I want to live in a song, better yet a music video.

I wanna be the girl in Common's video who get's proposed to but I don't want to be deaf.

Too many nights I'll always remember with someone I won't ever forget.
<3

marching

decided to visit the ghost of blogs past. here's some of my early March blogs.

2009:
Today, March 5th 2009, is a good day. I'm a happy girl, my joy remains internal and eternal. Can't nobody take that away from me. I once heard something along the lines of at the end of the day, the only person looking out for you is going to be yourself. I agree. You have to do what best for you, make the right choices, and make sure that you're happy at the end of the day...or somewhere close to it.


2008:
there are times. when you'll need someone. i will be by your side. there is a light that shines. special for you. and me
revamping my history. rethinking my future. reloading my present

2006:
its March...spring is on its way. i was getting sick of winter. today is such a beautiful day. before i know it, it will be warm n jus grand. 4th quarter is pretty much here...jus 1 more long ass quarter and it will be summer. yes 2006..fly by

2005:
OMG...it snowed today and rained. It was crazy ass weather especially because it was like 65 degreez yesterday. Now its all windy. I just want SPRING to come!

-growth

dieting

“I eat to gain...I’m a big believer in having hips, butt and thighs!...I’m eating everything from steak to mashed potatoes; people hate me!..It’s very difficult for me because I’m naturally skinny. I have to put on a lot of weight and work out to gain muscle. I love curves and being sexy”

haha.
-confessions of a skinny girl.

#BecauseMyParentsAreAfrican

...when my mom tells me to get something and I can't find it she go: "If I go and find it what should I do to you?"
...when my mom calls me I can't say "yes" I have to say "yes mommy"
..."washing dishes"..mom: ur using too much water oya reduce it!!! Like Wtf should it take me an hour!
...they're still saying happy new year when they greet friends they haven't spoken to since december and its March

just a little snippet into my life from the tweets of others like me. wouldn't trade it for the world though. #BecauseMyParentsAreAfrican I'm blessed with a culture

Nigeria to be exact.

sharing

yesterday my bff accidentally used my roommate's Olay facewash and said she loved it. that had me thinking...what makes a good facewash anyway? I hope I'm doing my skin justice. coincidentally, GMA had a story this morning and what you should look for and avoid. #clutch

staying positive

Optimism as a wonder drug...hmm. #publichealth

raining

Sometimes I listen to sad songs on purpose. These 2 today just because.

Ne-Yo. Miss Your Company
Mario. I Miss My Friend


Its the little things.
Can't believe it's March already. Yesterday was the 5th. Miami is next weekend. Time is just flying.

blessing

Dear Reader,

Happy Blessing Thursday!

With Love,
Reni

jamming

Abi you go be my boo.

remodeling

I just remodeled this page. I had to brighten things up. Add some color. Change some fonts. Why? Because I want to give this .blogspot one more try. Probably not the last try but new year, new month, hell..new day! Why not?

Today, I got some good news. I prayed this morning for good news, great things, laughter in my voice, a smile in a face, productivity at my fingertips, positivity on my mind, and love and happiness on my heart. This is my daily prayer. Yes, I've made a habit of praying daily now. Still haven't upgraded to discovering the wonders of the Bible but I'll get there. Anyhow, talking to God can be such a great release. Like I just lay there and have conversations with Him and either psych myself in to the day or debrief. Very therapeutic. I know He's listening. God's got my back.

advice of the hour:
Speaking Into Existence. If you want something great, continue to speak it until you attain it. I think I can. I know I can. I know I will. I can. I can. Words are powerful.